Jury Duty and a Joke

**John's been pestering me to blog more often... I don't know why... I mean, what kind of husband REALLY wants to know the thoughts of his wife? (wink.) **

I've been summoned for jury duty. This of course spured a whole rage of surfing the internet trying to figure out ways to get out of jury duty. I mean, come on, who wants to sit still in a room for hours every day listening - I mean actually paying attention - to people argue?! Of course I'll watch it on TV - you can get up and go to the bathroom, have you Dr. Pepper, talk outloud when you want, answer your cell phone, fall asleep, change the channel, etc. But real life? Dang, it's gotta be boring. How many quirky lawyers are out there like the amusing ones on Ally McBeal? My guesses are none (since I'm not practicing law). But then I found out that jurors get paid up to $18/day around here. That's a nice supplemental income (small, but enough to go see a movie on or something). This piqued my interest... What does a juror do? Would it be worth it? Maybe I'd get to do some really wacked out case that would take a month, and I'd get out of work PLUS get paid extra to do "nothing." It'd be like a vacation. And I'd get to be opinionated (oh, that's real hard for me)! Wow. Jury duty. Sounds like it might be kinda okay. Guess we'll see... They might not even call me to come in for the whole "voir doir" (jury selection) process. Then I would have stressed out about all of this for nothing. Oh well. That's how I operate.Okay...

Joke of the day...

G. W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave. Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse," The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."


AAAAAAHHHHH! Snap.

Later.

A story from first grade

So busy, so very busy. Today is Skip Day... John's at home; I'm at work. We would have gone to Silver Dollar City, but there are many various reasons why we didn't. It's gonna be a long day at work. I have to work overtime to make up for some time I took off yesterday. Not fun at all, but I'll manage, I'm sure. Mike's supposed to be putting Flash on my computer sometime soon... I get to learn a new program! Fun stuff. But really, I'm excited. I like learning things that are creative. I just learned something new about PhotoShop, and that made me happy. It's gonna save me a lot of time!

The reason I haven't been blogging lately is that I don't really have much to blog. I've been keeping my life/emotions low-key lately, so I'm not even worked up enough to put my thoughts down on computer.

Um... I'll just tell a story about myself... Pick an age, any age...

Okay 6. Something that happened when I was six...

First grade was a very educational year for me. I learned how to make jello pudding in a baby food jar... Make a mouse out of my thumb print... Grow bean sprouts in the closet (and EAT them!)... Clean my desk with shaving cream... Get fun things by reading books... I guess all I needed to know I learned in first grade. I also remember things that changed the way I viewed education forever. I was in a "gifted and talented" program. Every Wednesday at 1:00 Angie and I (and Chris and Josh from second grade) got to get out of class to go down to the library and learn "special things." Things like using photo exposure to impose objects onto paper. We learned how to use lemon juice and an iron to write "secret" messages. Lots of "scientific" things. It was great. Except for the other kids in my class. They didn't like the fact that Angie and I got out of class to go do things that they couldn't. I didn't see why it was a big deal - while we were gone, they would do things that I already knew how to do, and it bored me. It was the start of something that would stay with me all the way until graduation. Being smarter than everyone else isn't easy (and obviously not humbling, either). By fourth grade, the jealousy from my peers was so convicting that I determined that being smarter wasn't worth it. I began to hide my grades from people... I would even do less than my best just so I wouldn't be made a public spectacle. It's evident that I stopped learning as much, too. My IQ level actually DROPPED from Kindergarten to 6th grade. I figure that it's due to the fact that my peers convinced me that being smarter wasn't good. That I was a social leper because I was smarter. First grade. That's where it all started. I doubt that kids that young realize that they are having an impact on other kids that could last all the way up into high school. Funny thing is, I still graduated Valedictorian... But how much more could I have learned if I hadn't been influenced by negativism? Exactly why I'm a strong opposer to this whole "dumbing down" theory. There are smart kids out there... and they're probably in first grade.

About Me...

Got one of those cheesy survey questionaire things in my inbox... Figured I'd post my responses here:
1. What time is it? 9:15 am
2. Name as it appears on you Birth Certificate? (blank for internet purposes)
3. Any nicknames? Lou, Baby
4. Parent's names? Jim & Laura
5. Candles on your last cake? 25
6. Date that you regularly blow them out? November 1
7. Pets Dog and Cat? Neither
8. Favorite animal(s). ? I’m not a big fan of animals.
9. Tattoo? Nope.
10. How much do you love your job? Um… Well… When I have stuff to do, it’s okay. When I don’t it’s better. And when my boss is gone, it’s great.
11. Birthplace? (blank for internet purposes)
12. Favorite vacation spot? Anywhere but here. And usually any place with family (but only for a few days).
13. Ever been to Africa? No
14. Stolen any traffic signs? Nope. Never. But only because it wouldn’t fit in my trunk. (Giggle)
15. Ever been in a car accident? Well…Not REALLY.
16. Croutons or Bacon bits? Both!
17. 2 Door or 4 Door car? I have a 2 door, want a 4 door.
18. Salad Dressing? Ranch
20. Favorite Number? 22
21. Favorite Movie? ICK! Pick a favorite movie? How does one go about doing this? Sleepless in Seattle.
22. Favorite Color? Purple? I like to wear pink.
23. Favorite Holiday? Any day I get off work! Christmas
24. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
26. Favorite brand of body soap? I don’t use soap. I use body wash.
27. Favorite TV show? Pretty much anything on the WB (in order of appearance): Everwood, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, Smallville.
28. Toothpaste? Colgate – regular.
29. Most recently read book? Well, John and I are reading “The Guardian” by Nicholas Sparks right now. FANTASTIC!
30. Perfume/Cologne? Can’t think of the name… But I love it.
31. Favorite Smell? Um… Someone cooking.
32. What do you do to relax? Sit on the couch and hit the “channel up” button on the remote continuously.
33. Favorite Fast Food? Taco Bell
34. Last hospital visit? I don’t know?! To visit someone else it’d be the day my dad fell through the chicken house roof. For myself, I think it’d be when Scottie Bahler dropped me on my face.
35. How many times did you fail your drivers license test? NONE!
36. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully in a new place where John’s ministry is with 1-2 kids.
37. What do you do when you are bored? Pout.
38. Furthermost place you sent this message? North Carolina
39. Who will respond the fastest? I have NO earthly idea – I know most of you have done it before. But humor me, okay – I’m bored at work.
40. Least likely to respond? I have NO earthly idea – I know most of you have done it before. But humor me, okay – I’m bored at work.
41. What time is it now? 8:24 am

Yep.

Icky, icky. I guess I'm not as good at this journaling thing as I thought I'd be from my first few days' record. Oh well.

So I was in the shower this morning (ah, the bathroom - where ALL great ideas come to me), and I thought that I should write a book. I don't know about what yet, though. And I doubt it will ever happen. It was just one of those brief moments where I thought of the vast possiblities. (You know, quitting my job and such.) Ha ha. Yep.

I had a pretty crappy day last week. I got all emotional and stuff because of... well, I guess just because. I actually ended up taking half of Thursday off. Sometimes I go into these crying frenzies - John doesn't like it. I can't help it, though... It's like everything in the world is against me and all I can do about it is BAWL. Yeah, BAWL. I'm not talking sniffles and a few "tracks of tears." No way, buddy. Not me. I'm Niagra Falls. I'm talking racking sobs and headaches that last for HOURS when I'm finally done. Fun stuff, huh? Yep.

The weekend was fun, though. John's dad was here, and we all had a blast on Saturday. I got some wedding thank-you's done while the boys were out playing a round of golf. Then they came back and got me and I went with for the "back nine." (Which, ironically, is the same as the front nine, just played a little later. Welcome to the nice big world of the mid-west.) I enjoyed driving the golf cart while the boys drove their golf balls - or attempted to. I got sunburned... John got mad... John's dad got the ball to go more than 100 feet every once and a while. But I got my mexican food for supper, so all is well in the tummy of Lori.

Yep.I'm a bad friend, too. Don't answer my cell phone (ever). And hardly (ever) return calls. It's not that I'm too busy... I'm just too lazy. Yep.

Oh and one more thing... Boogety-Boogety-Boogety: Stupid crew chief... Hurt my Jimmie's chances of winning yesterday. Guess I'll just have to settle for the "good, solid top five finish." All I can say is I'm glad that Tony Stewart wasn't anywhere near there. I feel for John, though... Jeff didn't get that last burst of energy that he needed to pull of his top five finish - have to go with sixth. Not good for him when he was "supposed" to win... Guess that's what pot-holes will do to you. Listen kids - pot kills. Yep.

And that's where I'll leave you for today. Maybe I'll be better about writing this week. Maybe. Yep.

Wedding Recap

ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY – Wedding Recap

One month today... It's been a great month. We've run across a few challenging situations, but nothing horrible. In fact, it's all been trivial, pretty much.

On this special marker day, I think I'll take some time to reflect and describe the day as I remember it. So this could be long. I don't care, though. I want to be able to have this written down somewhere so I'll have it to remember in the years to come.

Mar. 12 – The day started out slowly. All of us girls had my bridesmaid luncheon up at the pharmacy at 11:00, so we were all up and out of the house fairly early. The boys slept in. We’re ordering drinks at lunch and we’re told that if we want pop we’d better order it now because the pop machine would be down for the next few hours. Didn’t think much about it. We ate sandwiches and salad and had fat cake for dessert. My mom read “THE WEDDING” from her “It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It” book. We all laughed. After taking some pictures and handing out gifts, we headed home. WELL… Here’s where the story gets fun… We get home to find out that the water is not on. Apparently a water main had broken in town and THAT was what was meant by “the pop machine would be down.” The boys were just getting up and unable to shower. It was kind of humorous, but at the same time, not a good situation. The water finally came back on in time for them to get showers before the rehearsal. (*wipes brow* Whew!) We had the dinner before the rehearsal – Mexican. The rehearsal was actually a lot of fun. Seemed to go fast.

After the rehearsal, all the girls went up to the school to decorate. We had a lot of fun! I put the flowers on my cake, Kay and Whit laid out the napkins, Shawna and Stephanie arranged chairs and the tables, and I don’t remember what Erin did… I think she was helping me do flowers? Kathy made the bows for the cake, and my mom was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Like I said, we had fun. The girls and I all got home from the cafeteria (finishing decorations) and sat in the living room watching “Newsies.” Shawna and I sang all the songs. We each painted our nails, too – and some of us did our toenails. My nails were French Manicured (courtesy of Kay), and my toenails were blue (polish courtesy of Pat and our Florida trip). I finally got to bed around midnight I think. I slept in Alan’s bed (which, coincidentally used to be mine) while the girls slept in the living room. My alarm was set for WAY too early in the morning.

Mar. 13 – I tried calling John at midnight to tell him “happy wedding day” but he didn’t answer. I found out later that they were “bachelor-ing.” Anyway… My alarm went off at 5:30 in the morning. I had my hair appointment at 6:30. I was SO not awake. After I got my hair done, Mom and I went back to the house. I didn’t have much to do for the next few hours – we were just waiting for all the girls to get their hair done. I sat down (it’s about 8:30?) in front of the TV and find a movie to watch. All of the sudden it hits me. That I’m getting married in a few hours? Nah. The need for a pizza. I ask – well, beg, really – my mom to go to the store to pick one up for me. She does. I cooked it and sat in front of the TV watching “Sweet Home Alabama” (yeah, a wedding movie) while eating my delicious pizza. YUM!

Finally, it’s time to go to the church. I brush my teeth again and head over there (in the drizzling rain, mind you). I’m in a really good mood. I got my mom’s little radio/CD player and found the local oldies station. I remember “Ain’t No Mountain” being on the radio and me having a ball dancing to it! We had cold cuts, cheese and crackers for lunch, but I wasn’t hungry. I was just freaking out because it was getting close to pictures and Erin’s hair wasn’t done yet. READ: Girl who is doing my makeup NOT at church. YIKES! She finally shows up and gets started on me. She did a wonderful job. And my photographer showed up about the same time and got a lot of good pictures of us getting ready. We get our pictures taken and the boys started taking theirs. (I did a no-no and snuck into the back of the sanctuary – behind the collapsible doors – and snuck a peek of John taking pictures. He looked so handsome.) The girls got mad at me, so I sulkily went back to “my end” of the church. I sent Erin to give John his card, and Jacob and I played a quick game of air-hockey in the youth room. This is about the time I started getting nervous. I realized how close it was getting, and how I needed to take a few minutes to really just relax. Kathy asked me if I wanted to find a classroom and have a few minutes with just my family to pray and talk, but just the thought made me start crying, and I didn’t want to be puffy, so I said no.

All of the sudden, it seemed, I heard the music start. I remember standing by Jacob and bending down and looking him in the eye. “Hey Jacob, my wedding just started,” I said. He grinned – not really comprehending what I meant, I’m sure. Everyone walked in, and it was almost my turn. My dad and I were standing out in the foyer when he grabbed my hankie out of my hand. “Yep, that’s what I thought,” he mused. What? “That hankie was your grandpa Hall’s.” And commence the tears. I gently whacked him for doing that to me right before I was to walk down the aisle. But by that time, it was my turn. John tells me that he couldn’t see me at the back of the church, but I was standing in a spot where he could see my bouquet. And commence the tears. I remember walking down the aisle in a blur. The only thing I thought was “Don’t cry too much.” Finally my dad and I got to the front of the church.

I don’t remember much after that. The ceremony went by so fast. I’m glad we have the video. The vows, the rings, the prayers and the kiss. It was all one big blur – except for John choking up as he said his vows. I’ll never forget that. But then Lee said, “May I now present to, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs…” Wow.

Pictures went fast, too. I wish I’d taken more, but both John and I were in a hurry to get to the reception. It was a whole lot of (not) fun trying to get to the school with it raining outside. We wrapped a sheet around the bottom half of my dress, and it helped some. (I still got a little muddy.) We got to the school, did the whole cut the cake, drink the punch thing. I was happy to see so many people. Aunts and uncles, cousins, friends… I got to meet Alan’s girlfriend Ashley. Nathaniel was there – he who traveled the farthest. Your prize is a picture with the bride. We threw the bouquet and the garter… I got a little peeved because John’s sister and Shawna both caught it, and she actually had the nerve to fight Shawna for it. But she gave up and let Shawna have it. Johnathan caught the garter. Alan passed around one of John’s shoes for charity purposes… Everyone pitched in to help us pay for the honeymoon. People were so generous. It’s good to be loved.

After more pictures and a little mingling, it was finally time to go. We went back to the house where the car was mutilated (yes, even in the rain) and changed to leave. Before we went, though, we opened all the rest of the presents… John wasn’t feeling well – he actually had a really bad sinus headache – so we tried to hurry. We finally got gone and headed off toward the honeymoon. But that’s all another tale for another time.

One month. It goes by so fast. But it sure is great to be married to the man I love… And to have such a special day to start our life together.

Long blog to catch up the last few days...

Okay, so the weekend at home was fun... Relaxing... And I got Alan's Nintendo 64! WAH-HOO!!! I can play my Zelda game now! John has the X-box, but I can't seem to figure out all the buttons... I end up frustrated and annoyed and usually crying. I'm such a girl. Anyway. So I'm all excited and stuff because of this, only to find out we got all the way home and the controlers weren't in the box. *Sigh*

On the way home Friday John & I stopped at a Wal-Mart and picked up a book to read out loud to each other. It's a book by Nicholas Sparks (? - Is that right? The guy who wrote "Message in a Bottle" and Walk to Remember") called "The Guardian." We read it most of the way home and then all the way back. We're already about half way through. It's a really cool bonding experience to read a book together. We're both really getting into it and can't wait to see what happens next! (If you've read it, DON'T TELL ME!!!)

We got a few more wedding presents while we were at home... MORE TOWELS?! Ha ha. Actually, a couple that I know from my old church camp sent us a really cool wind chime! It's really neat. Only...Well, we don't have an outside place to hang it since we live in an apartment building on the second floor (and our "porch" is indoors). So... John said something about hanging it in the kitchen for the time being. We also got EASTER BASKETS!!!! Isn't that fun?! There's nothing like being in your 20's and still getting pampered by your parents. Lots of chocolate. Glad I didn't open it before we went to church - I would have NEVER been able to hold still. Speaking of church, the service was really good! LOTS of people were there which made Dad happy, I think.

And speaking of Dad - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! We had presents and cake and stuff yesterday at lunch (and cold fried chicken). Not only did we have birthday cake, but we took my best friend's advice and had our top tier of our wedding cake (since it was our one month anniversary). We wanted to be able to enjoy our cake, so instead of letting it get freezer burned over the next year, we ate it on our one month anniversary. It was REALLY good!! I picked a good cake (way to go, Wal-Mart!).

I'm sure this week is going to fly by. John has a lot of homework, and I still have some thank you notes to get finished. I have no sense of etiquette, obviously. =( Sure do enjoy the gifts, though! Guess I should get back to what I was doing. I'm sure I've blogged your eyes out by now.

In Fletcher for the weekend

John and I just got done watching the wedding video and looking at pictures from the wedding. It was really fun... We were both reminicing about the wedding - talking about how we almost cried here, we did cry there, we were really happy there (even if we don't look like it - that was John). The video was very neat to watch. I'm glad we have technology like that. Probably one of those things that I will dig out of the box in 30 years... =)

John and Alan are sitting here watching me Blog. Alan doesn't know what Blogging is, and John is claiming that this is the worst blog I've ever written - you need to write more, he said. So I am.

We're gonna go to bed here in a few minutes (wink, wink). Defile the family's house. John says that's too much information. Alan says it will be blocked. And then proceeded to call it "R" rated and sugestive. John laughs. I laugh also. Suggestive, my rear. We're married. It's legal. And besides, I never said WHAT we were going to do. SO THERE. My husband and my brother need to get off my back and stop talking about what I'm blogging. Isn't a blog supposed to be your own thoughts not those of others?! Goodness gracious. Gimme a break. I'm going to bed.

Packrat or Keepsake Keeper?

Okay... So not much happened yesterday. It was a boring day at work, and that's where I was for more than half my day. Courtney and I are working on our spring cleaning - we're cleaning out the resource closet in our wing that hasn't been given a good cleaning since we moved in here in 2002! Yep, that's been fun. What's the most fun is having a boss who wants to keep EVERYTHING ("No, don't throw those brochures away! I know ithey're 10 years old, but maybe we can use them as give-aways at Priority22!") AAGGGGHHHH!!! And I thought I was a packrat. I'm figuring out that it's a lot easier to throw things away and have them out of your hair than having to look at it once every 5 years and go "OH... What should I do with this?" But then again, there are the things that I have and I keep that are purely for reminiscing purposes (and maybe some other reasons as well?):

1. That old retainer. Yeah, from those days when I used to suck my thumb (3rd grade?!). Dr. Mike figured that I needed something permanent in my mouth to keep my thumb out of it (seeing as how when I was in first grade he gave me one that I was only supposed to wear at night and *somehow* it ended up getting flushed down the toilet). I keep that retainer around cause it's just fun to have some gross out piece of memorabilia.
2. The ribbon that I used to size that one guy's class ring because it didn't fit my finger. It's funny because every time I look at that ribbon I get this icky upset feeling. It's a good reminder to take care of the relationships that you have while you have them; you may miss them tomorrow. Not that I miss that relationship - I haven't missed it since 10th grade, but it's a principle that I learned, and one that I learned early. It wasn't a good relationship, and I'm so glad it ended, but I learned a lot from that relationship. It was my first REAL "boy-girl" thing... I think everyone should keep something from that first real relationship. It's good to remember.
3. A wine cooler lid. Ah...the days of rebelling against my parents. Some day it will happen to me and my kids. I'll show them that lid, and we'll have a talk.
4. All of my medals, awards, mums, trophies, pins, etc... Once I was great. Once I was the best there was. Once I was a champion. You never have those days again - those days where everyone depended on YOU to win the game. When everyone knew that as long as you were on the mound, they could relax. When the second hit would come to you, and you set up the ball for the perfect spike. When you were flung into the air and you touched your toes at just the right time and made the crowd go crazy. When everyone knew that prom was your doing. When you stood up infront of everyone and gave the awe-inspiring speech at graduation. Once I was great...

It's funny what you save... Funny what those things make you think of... Funny that you can't ever have those days back, but we keep things in order to try. I was talking to John the other day about something like this and he helped me realize that being where I am right now is so much better than any place I've ever been before. I wonder what things I look at in 30 years to make me remember these days...

Cheap, Cheap, Cheap

We saw "Cheaper by the Dozen" last night at the cheap movies - actually, it is only 50 cents a person on Tuesday nights, so it was a cheap date (lots of cheap going on here, huh? Well, it's Easter! So "cheap, cheap, cheap!"). HA HA! I make myself giggle. Yeah...So anyway. 12 kids. Way too many. I think we'll settle for four. So far we only know of two names: Brayden Alan and Lorynn Laine. Aren't they cute? Yeah, I thought so. John actually came up with Brayden. We talk about our kids all the time, like we already know them. Maybe we're weird? I don't know. I like the way we are.

We slept in this morning... John missed his first two classes, but I think he needed the sleep. I remember skipping classes all the time when I lived on campus... He's a LOT better about going to class than I ever was. Heck, I'm the woman who's boss changed her work schedule so that I could get more sleep! I'm such a lazy bum. Good thing we're not having 12 kids. =P

So...It's Wednesday. Seems like Wednesdays are the slowest day of the week. But Andy sent around an email yesterday reminding us that we get Good Friday off, so it's like it's a Thursday, I guess. ?? I think this weekend will be fun. I'm looking forward to it! (cheap, cheap, cheap!)

Basketball and Singing Dogs

Yesterday was the Final Four championship. We had some people over (John's friends) to watch the game. It was a good time - we had pizza (so much left over) and I made no-bake cookies (so much left over). I enjoy having people over, because I like to cook and stuff for them - but I'm not very social. I'd just as soon have John in there with them entertaining while I'm either in the kitchen or the bedroom. I don't mind having people around, I just like to do my own thing. I'm sure it's kind of strange.

Dad sent me a little singing dog - it dances and sings "Singing in the Rain." It's so fun! His little foot taps and he sways back and forth with an umbrella. I named him Pete.

John talked to a guy about buying his car... John wants to sell it for more than the guy wants to buy it for, though. Not too sure what we'll do... John asked me what I thought, but I really want him to feel satisfied with what happens, and I'm not sure if him being swayed by any decision I want him to make would allow him to be happy.

We're going home (to my parents') for Easter this weekend! It's going to be very, very weird being in my house and actaully being ALLOWED to sleep in the same room as a guy. I don't think it will be so odd just sleeping with him, but knowing that everyone knows we're in there sleeping together is the odd part. Well, at least in my mind. It's so great being married, though. I love it that we don't have to worry about what we can and can't do any more. It's nice to know that John and I can spend every waking (and sleeping) moment of the day together and it's perfectly fine with everyone in the entire world! He's my husband. I'm his wife. It's a great thing this being married.

Is it done yet?

We had our first "bar-b-que" yesterday. Actually we just drove out to the falls and grilled hamburgers. John did a great job on them - they were TERRIFIC! He was a little disappointed with them because they weren't as welldone as he'd have liked them. But they were still really good. He said that he was nervous because I was just standing there watching them cook (I was HUNGRY!), so he felt pressured to take them off before they were as done as he'd like. While we were eating them he mused that he'd have to get better at ignoring the pressure because when we have kids, they'll be all over him saying "IS IT DONE YET?" I giggled. Us with kids. Insert big smile here.